Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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