I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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