yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
