So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
