doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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