Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
