i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
