He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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