do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
