We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
