the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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