idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
