i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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