If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
