I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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