How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
