yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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