Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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