I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
