There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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