This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
