i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
