So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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