Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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