Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
