dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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