So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
