That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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