i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
