Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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