I think I died a long time ago.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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