im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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