I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
