This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
