just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
