she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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