White coat. Heels.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
