so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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