My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
