how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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