i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
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had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
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Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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