Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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