his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
