You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
