I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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