he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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