Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i dont even know how to be here
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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