I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
this hospital has no fireball
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
