i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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