woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
