I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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