The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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