Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just had sex on a roof
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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