just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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