So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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