Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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